Ladies and gentlemen, somewhat devoted readership and dwindling fan-base,
           Must Have Magazine's  Parent corporation, PsychotiCorp, has decided to rename the magazine Psychosis Magazine.  But, have no fear, this will not have any effect on the sub-standard, low-quality entertainment we currently provide.  There will only be a slight salary decrease for it's current employees and the paper will be somewhere between toilet tissue and standard newspaper thickness.  The ink may also be somewhat easier to smudge but will wash off rather easily when the proper cleaning techniques are applied.
           PsychotiCorp also would like to announce that there will be a slight (about 35%) increase in the cost of advertising in this fine publication.  The size of the ads will also be reduced by 10%.  Those who have already paid in advance will still be expected to pay the increase.  If they know what's good for them.  There will be no exceptions.  Color ads will no longer be in color but will be in a lovely gray-scale that, when looked at in a certain light and at a certain angle, may still appear to be in color.  The charge will, however, remain the same.
           We look forward to your continued, yet dwindling, support and hope the recent changes aren't too upsetting to you.