As we venture forward in our mission to create a magazine consisting of (what we try to pass off as being) high quality entertainment, we realize that it takes a certain amount of capital to make that happen. Low-grade paper costs money, ink that’s easily smudged costs money and an underpaid staff costs money. In other words, it’s not cheap running a sweatshop, no matter how cheap your materials are. Your sponsorship can help make our dreams become a reality. Fill our magazine with ads and we won’t have to fill the empty spaces with our own ads and the poor examples of humor usually contained therein. We are not bluffing. If you don’t want to see any more of the pathetic displays such as the one above, do us all a favor and pay for a full page add. It could do wonders for your business. All kinds of people will be busting down your doors, just to buy loads of goods and/or services from your establishment. And you will have us to thank for it all. But no thanks will be necessary. We would just be glad that we helped-as long as your check clears without any problems. Thank you. Now enjoy the rest of the magazine.